My Princess Barbara - Good Will Ambassador to the World

      Wife Barbara and I drove around Sweden, Norway, and Denmark for 34 days. It was very high fun, but very difficult for an old dog like me, who picks up new tricks very slowly! I'm glad to be back to the English speaking world, away from those very long, very difficult words and road signs. Barbara told me when we got back, she was never going to ride that long in a foreign country with me driving again, though we already are searching for another place to go to without backtracking. My creative U turns seems to make her a little dizzy and unsure, as I stay all the time. But our little car was just as pretty as before when we turned it in, not a single scratch or dent, though neither of us have been able to figure out how that happened.


       When I drove around Southern Europe for a month a while back, my greying hair turned almost white, what I had left. I'm not kidding you. This time, I came home finding wrinkles in strange spots that I had not seen before, and the grey hair on my left shoulder seems to have grown an inch.  Driving in large cities without being able to read the signs, make sense of the maps, or without knowing the rules of the road was hard, and sometimes scary. Keep in mind that was not the natural habitat for an Arkansas Hillbilly, anyway!


       The most difficult thing was, not being wealthy and traveling on a shoestring as I told you before, those countries turned out to be very expensive, especially Norway. although it may be the most beautiful country we have seen. A hotel we pay $75 for in the US ran $250 up. Since our planned daily budget was $200, we had to be very creative. We also stayed in B&B's, guest houses, camping cabins, and hostels.


         My job was driving and carrying the bags, Barbara was in charge of ATM's, computers, and the like, all in strange languages, but where she really shines is in public relations.


         One night we were in a huge building that, I was told, was an "Old Folks Home" renovated into a Hostel. We were totally alone, not another LIVING soul in the building. Or so I thought. I wandered up to the third floor, and saw a door open, with a light on inside. I went in to check it out. It was full of computers,
etc. I heard a tiny woman's voice say - h-h-hello? When she settled down some from me walking in on her like that, she said her husband has a farm nearby, they rent an office space. I apologized for scaring her, and she was nice about it. But as soon as I left, she locked up and went home really quick.

  I had already finished reading all the books I brought with me, so I started looking at Swedish books to take my mind off the strange noises coming up from the basement. I found a picture book about Princess Victoria, their Crown Princess. Hundreds of photos of her in different situations. I began to realize she was a lot like Barbara. Totally at ease in any social situation, perfectly posed in every photo, perfect make-up, clothes perfectly matching and wrinkle free. Just like Barbara. Knowing, as I did, that we were able to find a place where we could use a clothes washer only three times in thirty four days, that we washed clothes in our bathroom sink, dried them on a radiator or in the back half or our car while we traveled, I have no idea how she always looked so perfect, but she did. That night, she managed to find a room with a bathtub shaped like a washing machine box, and took a long bath in it, to drown out the noises from those who-knows-whats  still playing around in the basement, then we washed out our clothes in the box. The lady who rented us the room showed up the next morning to fix a great breakfast for us. She said they had just turned on the heating system, based on water pipes going very deep into the ground and pumping slightly warmer water up through our radiator. That could have accounted for the strange sounds.


       One of the most enjoyable things for me, in our wanderings, is watching her interact with the locals. Once, we were in a line of a dozen or so people waiting for a toilet. (Toilet is the only word that worked there. Ask about a restroom or bathroom brought only blank stares.)  Anyway, everyone was totally quiet. Not a word was said. Finally, Barbara stated, "You Swedish people sure are a quiet bunch." An old man, way up the line, said, "Yes, we have always been a very stoic people."  Immediately, everyone broke out laughing and talking, and before our turn for the toilet came, she had a dozen new friends who knew her well, and all about our travels there. Most wanted to know, "do you have relatives here?  Most tourists go to Southern Europe." We have already seen Southern Europe. Besides, did we look blonde to them? Well, I could have been. A long time ago.


        Trying to place our order for Kabobs in a fast food place, where they do things very different than we do, she started asking people around her how you do this or that, and they all started helping. By the time she got our order, she was friends with everybody in the joint. Thinking of Hillary Clinton's book, I explained to them, "It takes a village to keep her going straight." The next day, we were walking in a mall. A young man who worked there started pointing at us and laughing, when we were still a long way off. I checked to make sure my pants were zipped. Actually, he turned out to be one of Barbara's new friends, from the Kabob place from the night before.


         I could go on and on, but you get the idea. She always keeps in mind that we may very well be the only Americans some of them ever talk to, and she uses her God-given ability to make friends instantly, and leaves a long line of smiling new friends behind her every day. How's that for a great good-will ambassador for America?


         By the way, Barbara is a great money manager. Though we haven't seen the final figures yet, It appears we are going to be right on budget, Thanks to eating out of a ton of grocery stores, where, of course, several women were quickly showing us the ropes and explaining what was what, and sleeping in as many camping cabins and hostels as hotels. Every room we slept in was amazingly clean. I could not have scraped up a thimble full of dirt in all of them. The people were very friendly, trusting, and helpful. I had heard before the trip that they may very well be the most civilized people in the world, and I now believe that. And, I have never seen so many tall, slender, truly blond and beautiful women in my life! Actually, of course, my favorite hair color is brown, like Barbara's.