Finding Barbara

Yesterday was Barbara's 65th birthday. I thought this might be a good time to tell you how I found Barbara, forty seven years ago, who I fell in love with on first sight, then set out on the year long struggle to win her heart. I fell in love so quickly, I now know, for purely physical reasons. She was beautiful, personable, and a really hot chick. But I had no way of knowing what was inside, and what a remarkable woman she would grow into. I had no way of knowing that her mature beauty would be even greater than that of that young girl, so many years ago.

I had been planning for the last five years to give her a really big birthday party on her 65th birthday, and last night it happened. Eighty or so of Barbara's friends attended, and dozens told of their memories of her, from our seven year old grandson Carson to eighty-eight year old Jane Quick. It was a truly magical night for Barbara, and we have both been as high as a kite ever since.

By the way, I did sell four copies of Spreading Wing at that party, and I promise it was unintentional, had nothing to do with my planning the party!                                                              

For a time, during my freshman year of college, I hitchhiked home to Wing occasionally, four driving hours away from Arkansas A&M. At that time, that was not as hard as it seems now. With my clean cut looks, an A&M bag in my hand, it seldom took more than five hours, though it might take a dozen rides to get there. That got a little easier when I got acquainted with Earl, who lived at Hollis, only thirty miles from Wing. I often rode with him to Hollis, and hitchhiked on home.

One Friday afternoon when we headed out, he told me he needed to first go over into the deep delta,  pick up a foxhound from a man to take to his dad. We drove over to near Watson, then took a dirt road for what seemed like forever, winding out through the cotton fields. Finally, he stopped at a farmer's house. While he was loading the dog, I got to looking at the neighbor's house, right next door.

Little did I know at the time, the love of my life was in that very house. Just pining away, awaiting the day I would come riding in on my great white stallion, sweep her up, and carry her off to live happily ever after.

     But she was only thirteen, and she was still four years into my future. I wish I could have just walked over to that house that day, went right in, and got a look at that little girl, knowing what the future held. Wouldn't that have been grand?

     After my junior year, I went to summer school. I had figured out if I did that, I could graduate at semester my senior year. Two pretty girls from Watson were making their grand entrance into college that summer, and were making a big splash as pretty girls like them always do. I was kinda’ caught up in the backwash of one of them, Janice, and we hung out together a lot.

     She was showing pictures from her billfold one day, and in the first one I saw her house. I then figured out that was the house where Earl and I had picked up that foxhound. The next picture was of a beautiful girl, in shorts, and it kinda’ made me catch my breath. “Who is THAT?” I asked. Well, Janice didn't think much of me going on about another girl while I was with her, and she closed her billfold, mumbling, “Oh, just a girl I live next to at home.”

     I had finally seen her. The love of my life. But she was still just a picture of a very hot chick, and she was still six months into my future. But I was quickly closing in on Barbara Sue Dunnahoe, little by little, one fateful step at a time.

     I decided to do my student teaching at Dumas, in the Delta, home of the Ding Dong Daddy. As I was finishing up my student teaching, I drove down to the Delta Dip one night, and I had no idea the love of my life awaited me there, and that my life was about to change forever. And I had forgotten to bring along my great white stallion.

     I was walking back to my car at the Delta Dip, and a guy I knew from A&M called me over. He was standing by a carload of girls, talking into the car. I walked over. In the front seat, driver's side, a pretty girl. Sitting beside her was another pretty girl. Then I looked into the back seat, far side, and there she was. A totally magical moment. Sitting there, before my eyes, was the most beautiful one-eyed girl I had ever seen. I almost dropped my burger. Her hair style covered one eye, but as soon as I saw the covered one, saw it was every bit as beautiful as the first one, I knew. This was the one. The girl I wanted to marry!

     But I had this problem, you see. In high school, I never dated much. Not totally my idea, but it just never happened. Around a girl I really liked, I just could never talk much. I just froze up. In college, I dated a little more, but if I ever found a girl I really liked, my problem returned. I just couldn't talk much, at least not sensibility. I might call her up and say, “Hey, you wouldn't want to go out with me, would you?” Then, if she hesitated, even for a moment, I would throw in the clincher. “That's OK, don't worry about it. I don't blame you. I wouldn't either, if I were you. Bye.”

     But this girl was so friendly, so bubbly and out -going, she would just not allow me to freeze up. She brought out the real me, which had been hidden deep inside me for all these years. Pretty soon, I was invited to sit in the car. Things were looking up.

     Tommy Neely walked up to the car. Tommy was a big jock from A&M. A total chick magnet. I knew Tommy well. I used to rub his legs a lot on a regular basis. Maybe I'd better explain that. He was a star on the track team, I was the manager.

     Tommy started talking to the girls about going to a big wild party he knew about. My heart sank.  I didn't like wild parties, and even if I was invited, I wouldn't dance much, except for the twist sometimes. And I usually got my legs all twisted up doing/trying that. But guess what! This girl said no. She didn't like wild parties. I suddenly fell deeper in love. Before the night was over, I had a date set up with her for Saturday night. Things were really looking up! But this was not going to be easy. It would be a long, uphill battle. My heart would be totally shattered in the process. I had best go find my great white stallion. I would need him, and much more.

The long, hard struggle to capture the heart of the love of my life had begun. Was I up to it?