Post seventeen: Decoration Day: A two flower man

     My oldest brother Harry was not around much after I got old enough to remember. He worked in Chicago once, was in the army awhile, then settled in California. He did not move back to Arkansas until retirement, and then our time together was cut short by cancer. Harry died in 1997 at the age of 69.
     Harry set the family driving record early on his yearly trips back to Wing to visit. He would work a shift in California, then get in his car and drive straight through to Wing taking 36 hours. And, that was before the interstate system. I remember he always arrived at Wing in the middle of the night, and we all got up and celebrated all the rest of the night and through the next day. Harry was a very organized guy. All his tools were always clean and in the best repair, as was all his property. He was also a great mechanic. Once, while he was home, he helped me take the heads off my car and do a valve job. Years later, when my other car and truck needed that, I tackled the job from memory. Things went well on my car, so I tackled my truck. Everything went well until I started it up. Water spouted out from all four corners of the motor. I did not put the gaskets together right at the corners, and I had to start over. That was my last semi-major mechanic work, though I did later, out of necessity, work on our RV when things went wrong traveling for a year to the far flung corners of North America. In early May of 1997, Harry called
and asked me if I was coming to Decoration Day at Rover. I said “No, I've got a job to do that day.” He replied, “You've got something else more important to do, do you?” 10 days later, Harry was IN that cemetery. I haven't missed a Decoration Day at Rover since, although hitting a deer on the way there and wrecking our car delayed us a week or two this year. I always put a flower on each Gillum and Lazenby grave, and take a moment to think about each person. I am training my sensitive daughter to take over after me, and she is training her son Jordan, also very sensitive, to take over after her. That way, the old Gillums and Lazenbys will not be forgotten, for a very, very long time. The current Wing Gillums play the lead role on Decoration Day for the entire family.
A TWO-FLOWER MAN
     There is one man buried in the cemetery at Rover who, though he was not a Gillum or a Lazenby at all, has always commanded so much respect in me that his story must be told. R. L. Whitten. He was a friend of Elbert Lazenby, Uncle Euriel's son. He almost became a member of the family. When the war came along, Elbert was soon in action, as a radio man on a bomber. His plane was shot down, and Elbert became one of many casualties of war.
     R. L. remained a part of the Lazenby family. Elbert's sister, Delphia, had severe physical limitations. They were permanent, and her life expectations were very dim. As we all would be, she seemed to me to be deeply embittered about her lot in life.
R. L. started dating Delphia. They soon married, and R. L., a nice looking man, a preacher and a teacher, made Delphia his princess. He put her up on a pedestal, waited on her hand and foot all her life, and to my observations as a boy, was endlessly patient, and very tolerant of her mood swings. And he single handedly elevated her life to a level far above anyone's reasonable expectations.
    As a boy, I was around them a lot. This was at a time when cousins still kept close contact with cousins. I never knew what was in his heart, only what I saw, as a boy. He was my greatest example of the supreme servant nature, and I always reserve a little extra time, thinking about R. L. Whitten, on Decoration Day, along with an extra flower.